3 weeks after our wedding my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I cannot explain the devastation and fear as he had surgery to have the affected testicle removed. 6 months later they found that he had a tumor on his liver - the cancer had spread. At this point, although they reassured us that chemo was very effective against this type of cancer, I was sad, terrified, and angry that my husband had to go through this. His hair fell out, and my normally energetic and upbeat partner was lethargic and quiet. Many times I sobbed in the bathroom at the cancer center, unsure of my future, watching the love of my life in pain and discomfort.
The chemotherapy was successful, and I am thrilled to say that my hubby has been in remission for 5 years. However, a year after chemo, when we were trying to conceive our first baby, we found out that he was now completely sterile. I saw the report with his sperm count, and it read 0.00. I was once again left unsure of what my future would hold, and I knew we had a few months of testing and procedures ahead of us.
Luckily, we banked sperm before chemo, and after only one round of fertility treatments we were pregnant with the twins! I had moments when I was worried we may not be able to ever have children naturally, so finding out we were having twins was a dream come true (even though some days I curse them!).
I was at my twin girls 4 month check up when the nurse asked if there was a chance I could be pregnant.
I confidently said "no," and wholeheartedly believed it. There was no chance, I had seen the report and my husband had a sperm count of zero.
Then I flippantly mentioned to the nurse that since I still hadn't had a period after I stopped nursing, a few hours ago I had taken an expired pregnancy test at home, which couldn't have been correct because it was expired.
It was also positive.
Well, 5 days before the twins' first birthday, my son was born. A year later and life has changed into something I could never have predicted. I feel so lucky. I feel so crazy. I feel so misunderstood. It's sometimes hard to find someone to relate to. It's a good thing my kids are hilariously funny, and my husband is right in there with me. Or I'd be in the loony bin! Well, I just had to get the past off my chest, next time I write it will be to share a day in my life now. Here's a taste of what's to come: -potty training -sibling wars -somehow managing not to drink during the day. Betcha you can't wait!
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